Featured Beer #22 – Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA

Save the Date, Part Two of Two

Hey, it’s part two of our numbers themed beer reviews, only this time, things get serious.  Last week I drank two of Stone Brewing Company’s Vertical Epic series, 11.11.11 and 12.12.12.  The beers were designed to celebrate when the month, day and year all line up with the same number.  Now, if you’re reading this, 12.12.12 was the last time in your lifetime that’s ever going to happen.  Then again, come tomorrow, the whole entire world is going to end so who gives a shit about months, days and years lining up for someone’s geeky pleasure.  On 12.21.12 the world as we know it officially ceases to be and that’s why, before it’s too late, I’m drinking Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA.  A beer designed with the specific intention to enjoy before the lights go out for all of us.  So as the earths inevitable end vastly approaches, I pose a simple, yet crucial question for all of you out there, which is…

…who in their right mind actually believes the world is going to end tomorrow?

Not this guy.  However, since this erroneous prediction spawned a new beer by Stone Brewing Company, I can safely say it was a productive hoax.

There’s a line in a favorite movie of mine that goes something like “the less a man makes declarative statements the less likely he is to look foolish in retrospect.”  I have a rule of thumb that I live by, in all facets of my life, and that is to infuse common sense whenever possible.  Here’s a tip: it’s possible to do all the time.  When some mere mortal, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans just like me, stands up above a crowd and declares that the world is going to end on such and such a date and that we all better come to terms with it, I say to myself:

Self: Now why would this regular looking dude or chick have such important knowledge that affects all of mankind?  How were they able to attain this dire scenario and I was not?  They spoke of the Mayan calendar or something and they’re certain that we’re all doomed.  How did they get to be so important?  Oh yeah, that’s right, they’re not important, they’re just a nutbag with no common sense.  I feel better now.  Hey, what’s for breakfast?

"Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA"

Plan for the future, but…well, the bottle says it all. It’s exactly what I believe we all should do.


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How many times have you heard in your life that a group of social idiots are convinced the world is going to end and that we should all join their group and do whatever they deem appropriate to avoid extinction?  More than once, I’m sure.  When someone, anyone, thinks they have the universe’s mysteries figured out and that they KNOW when the world comes to end, that’s when someone like me surmises they actually know nothing.  Now anything that comes from their mouth from this point forward I consider bullshit and I wouldn’t take their advice on what color to paint my kitchen.  I heard there’s some dude that’s going to jump off a mountain or something at the exact moment the world ends, because he knows the exact moment by the way, and experience the end of time in a relaxing freefall.  So, on 12.22.12 when someone gets the unpleasant job of putting his remains in Tupperware using a spatula, they’ll say:

Whoever Has to Do that Job: Man, I think I would’ve just sat on my porch and drank a Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA instead.

That’s the route I’m choosing to go.

Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA

"Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA"

I did exactly what I was supposed to do and enjoyed Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA before 12.21.12. But barely.

What’s interesting is just last week, with the Vertical Epic ales, Stone brewed those beers with the thought of aging in mind.  One of them that I drank, the 11.11.11, was over a year old.  With Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA, it was brewed with the intention of drinking them now and not aging them at all.  In fact, the bottle says that Stone went to great lengths to ensure the beer doesn’t last.  So if you can find it, and you like IPAs, buy it now and drink it, provided the world still exists of course.

When I drank the Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA, I did so with the thought “what if this was the last beer I was ever going to drink” in mind.  I gotta tell you, I enjoyed every bit of it.  Now I love beer, so the world ending probably didn’t influence that opinion too much.  It smells very hoppy and fresh, and it tastes that way too.  It’s just a great tasting, 9.4% alcohol IPA to drink down before whatever happens tomorrow.  If anything does.

Here’s a question; what happens when you predict the world is going to end, and you tell all your friends and anyone that will listen, and then it doesn’t?  What’s the dialog after that little debacle?  Here’s my guess:

Some Idiot: You know what, that’s my mistake.  I misspoke; it’s this time next year.  I’m telling you, you guys better get ready.

"Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA"

Isn’t this statement true of all beer? Just asking.

So if in fact the world does come to an untimely end tomorrow, then this will be my last VHT.  Ever.  The finality of that thought is downright chilling.  Something tells me you’ll be reading an all-new VHT next week, and subsequent weeks after that.  The world can’t end tomorrow; there’s entirely too much beer left out there I have yet to try.  Only a cruel deity, or whatever is in charge of the cosmos, would deprive me of my ultimate, mortal goal.  No, I think life will go on for all of us, and hopefully the life you are leading is a great one.  Whatever you enjoy, as long as it doesn’t harm and negatively impact others, have at it!  Unless you enjoy screaming about the world coming to an end, then I’ll just have to say:

Me: Hey, shut up already and drink a Stone Enjoy by 12.21.12 IPA for God’s sake.

That way if the world does end on us, at least we went out on a good note.

Beer is your friend, all the way to the end.  Here’s to many more days of doing whatever you enjoy!

Cheers people!!

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